


Your Station in Life

by purplequeenppgz



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 21:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6873211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplequeenppgz/pseuds/purplequeenppgz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Finn escapes Kylo manages to hunt him down and drag him back into the First Order. Finn still has hope that he can escape again but Kylo's not too sure about that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Station in Life

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking to myself. "Am I really going to write another KyloFinn fic. I already wrote two this month. i mean sure I have the free time because it's almost the end of the school year and I have no AP's to study for and all my classes are easing up on the workload but like I already wrote so much (by my low standards)"
> 
> Then I waited for more KyloFinn fics on tumber and on ao3 and never got them. I need more and if i'm not given more I'll make more. Like someone else on tumblr said "I'm in rarepair hell"

Finn laid on the floor with Kylo towering him. Kylo's tall body was blocking the burning rays of the sun from Finn but the shade didn't make Finn's body feel any less hot. Kylo was like a dark shadow that engulfed his world in darkness blocking any light. Kylo looked down at him with cold and soulless eyes as a chilling grin stretched across his face.

Finn could barely move any of his limbs at this point. He turned his head and saw that his lightsaber was just a few feet away from him. In a futile attempt to keep fighting ,he reached out for it but Kylo stomped on his arm keeping it in place. Finn should have winced in pain but with all the injuries he had his body he just couldn't feel anymore pain than he already did. Finn was sure Kylo had at least broken one of his ribs and if he wasn't suffering from any internal bleeding than it was a miracle.

Kylo stopped staring at Finn and bent down on top of him. He positioned his legs so that he was straddling the ex-stromtrooper. A chill ran down Finn's body as he grunted in disgust. Finn wanted someone to come save him already but he knew help would never arrive. After all these years Kylo had finally managed to get Finn back in his clutches.

But Finn knew it would not take long for his friends to figure out what had happened. They couldn't come save him now but they will later. Once they realize who's got him , they would do everything they could to get him back. Finn didn't have the power to fight back but he still had his hope. Kylo could take away many things from him. His friends, his home but he could never take away his hope or his sense of determination. Once he's back in the First Order, Finn will find a way to escape and if he doesn't his friends will find a way to save him. If not then Finn always had the third option of death.

"Sleep," Kylo whispered. Drowsiness started to invade Finn's body. He tried to fight his body to keep himself alert but it was no use. His heavy eyes fell closed and next thing Finn knew he only saw darkness. Before he had been immersed into his dream world, he felt strong arms lift him up from the dirty floor. Finn tried one more time to alert himself but the strength of his will was no match against the Force.

 

Finn's head jolted up. There was a painful drumming against his temples and he pressed his fingers against them. Despite sleeping for what seemed like for hours, his body felt tired. He tried to stretch his arms to lessen the stiffness of his body and get rid of any knots in his muscles. Each time he moved his joints he felt pain puncture his body. Finn looked down at his blood stained cloths.

"What happened? Where am I?" Finn asked himself aloud.

As he messaged his head he looked around his prison. Finn's heart jumped into his throat when he realized where he was. The all black prison no doubt belonged to the First Order. Finn's eyes shifted around the blank cell in swift frantic motions as he tried to remember why he was here. Memories started to zip by Finn's mind fast as he tried to recollect what he had been doing before he was captured. Finn's body froze when he realized why he was back in his own personal hell. Kylo hunted him down and attacked him. Finn had tried to fight back but he was no match against Kylo. When Finn's body hit the ground he was certain Kylo would kill him right then and there.

Finn wondered why he was taken prisoner instead of killed. His mind hadn't oriented itself enough to remember why. Before he could shift through his memories for an answer the door of his cell opened. He turned his head to see a tall figure wrapped in thick black robes enter the room. Two storm troopers entered the room as well.

"FN-2187, now that you are awake you will be transported to the medical bay immediately."

Finn rose to his feet as slow as possible not wanting his head to become dizzy from any sudden movement. Finn nodded his head. He didn't want to give Kylo the satisfaction of a verbal response.

One stormtrooper walked up to him and put hand restraints around his wrists. Kylo turned to leave the room not bothering to look if he was being followed in turn. Finn stood there in a pathetic and useless attempt to be defiant.For his disobedience a stormtrooper pushed him forward. Finn stubbed but got his footing back and walked behind Kylo. Finn made it a point to walk as for behind the cloaked man as he was aloud. If he drifted to far away a stormtrooper would greet his back with a blaster.

No one said anything as they walked to their destination. All Finn heard was the patter of their footsteps as they walked. The silence was deafening.

As he walked down the hallway of the ship he wondered why he wasn't killed instantly. He was a traitor after all. Wasn't that the reason why Kylo hunted him down? To kill him for betraying the First Order? Why bother keeping him alive? Why bother giving him medical attention? Couldn't they have just killed him in his sleep? Or maybe they wanted him to be conscious just to make the punishment of death more cruel? Maybe they wanted him in better shape now so they can torture him more later?

"The only reason your alive is because I argued that you were a better use to the First Order alive than dead," Kylo said. His deep voice cutting through the silence like a knife.

Finn had a feeling that was only half true. When Kylo said argued he meant beg and when he said First order he meant himself.

"Yes," Kylo said. There was a sad edge to his voice that could have been easy to miss to anyone who didn't know him that well. Finn ,however, knew Kylo all too well. He wished he didn't but was also thankful he did.

Once Finn stepped into the Medbay, he was given immediate attention. The medical droids guided him to a white bed and asked him lay down as they checked his injuries. They put some stitches on this ,wrapped some bandages on that ,rubbed some ointment here ,and put some alcohol there.

After they were done, a First Order nurse holding a needle came into Finn's view. He grabbed Finn's arm and injected him with some strange liquid. Finn wanted to fight whatever was happening but decided to conserve his energy for another day. He had just got his body fixed up he didn't want to damage himself again by doing something unnecessary. Whatever this was he would get through it. Somehow.

A few minutes passed as sleepiness started to take over Finn's body. Finn felt a soft hand grab his own and squeeze it with a tenderness that a mother would do with her child. He turned his head around to see Kylo with his mask still on. Despite that Finn felt like he could see right threw it. He could just see the worried expression that Kylo hid behind his dark helmet. Finn looked down at his hand and saw that Kylo had taken off his leather gloves. For some reason that made Finn's heart flutter. The skin on skin contact felt more informal ,more personal.

It was moments like this that confused Finn the most. Kylo could be so tender to him yet be so cruel. He could hunt him down and knock him out but hold his hand to give emotional support. Throughout the years Finn thought he either knew Kylo too well or not well enough. Maybe it was both? Finn knew of Kylo's soft side but was still new to his cruel side. Finn at least knew he knew Kylo more than Kylo knew himself. Kylo fought against his empathy and his tenderness. He always pretended like it wasn't there. Finn always embraced it. Finn closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

When Finn woke up he was in a strange room. He looked around to see some Empire memorabilia and immediately deciphered he was in Kylo's room. If that wasn't enough of a hint Finn's eyes dropped down to the pile of ashes Kylo always had near his nightstand. There was something different about this room. Finn was sure of it. It might have been a long time since he was here but it just looked different. Kylo must have renovated the place.

Waking up inside Kylo's room surprised him a bit. He was expecting to wake up to be reconditioned at the very least. Kylo had said that the First Order (read:Kylo) had uses for him. He wondered what use he could possibly be when he had already proven that the First-Order's years of brainwashing had no effect on him. What use could an nonloyal soldier have?

Finn looked down to see that he was on Kylo's bed and that he was suspiciously missing a shirt. He wondered what they did to him as he slept. If they just wanted to transfer him to Kylo's room then why knock him out. Finn didn't know how long he was asleep but it had felt like hours. His intuition told him that he had slept into the next day. What required him to be asleep for so long? Finn took off the blanket to look at the lower half of his body. Nothing looked out of place. His eyes moved from his legs then up to his stomach then across his chest. Nothing about his body seemed strange and ironically that made him even more suspicious.

Finn got up to run to the bathroom. He looked into the bathroom mirror to see if they did anything to his face ,but he saw nothing. Finn was surprised. Nothing felt out of place and nothing looked out of place. Finn wouldn't put it above the First Order to do something unsavory to him in his sleep ,but it seemed like they knocked him out for the sake of knocking him out. Weird given that the First Order always had a reason for doing anything. Finn never thought they were good reasons but they always followed some sort of logic. It was part of their motto. They wanted nothing but order and doing things based on emotions without any thought to logic involved a disorderly and chaotic way of thinking.

Maybe they didn't want him to know exactly where Kylo's new room was when they transported him. If so, it made sense from their perspective he supposed. He already knew how to get to Kylo's old room. In his days as a stormtooper he spent as much time in Kylo's quarters as he did in his bunk. He had assumed Kylo simply renovated the place but it was entirely possible Kylo decided to move his living quarters. Why he would even bother Finn didn't know.

Finn wondered what was going to happen now. They weren't going to recondition him that was for sure. Maybe he'd be Kylo's personal prisoner with all the services that entailed. Finn was both horrified yet content with that idea.

Finn was tempted by the idea of staying in Kylo's room all day waiting for him and being spread out on the bed ready for Kylo to use him for his pleasure. As soon as the thought entered his mind he swatted it away. Finn was not going to let his lust cloud his judgment. Finn had to figure out how to escape and he needed to be ready to attack Kylo if the opportunity for escape ever presented itself.

Finn walked around the room for hours trying to think of a plan ,any plan. He wished he had more room because being locked in this contained space all day was making it hard to breath. He wished he could go outside to get some air but he knew he was locked from the outside. This left Finn with nothing to do. He could sleep and wait for a plan to form in his dreams but he was too alert to sleep. Finn's mind drifted from thoughts of escape to other more trivial matters. Finn thought about the pile of ashes kylo had in his room. Finn wondered if Kylo ever had the guts to kill him would he put his ashes in the pile or would Finn get his own special jar? If he did ,where would Kylo put it? Near his nightstand? Right next to Vader's helmet? Speaking of Vader, Finn wondered how he got Vader's helmet to begin with.

Finn's thoughts drifted to what would become of him now. He was confident Kylo wouldn't kill him but he would make it near impossible to escape. Maybe Finn could beg him for mercy? Kylo always liked it when Finn was on his hands and knees but they haven't seen each other in years and Kylo could have changed a lot in that time. Trying to appeal to Kylo's empathy and lust might not work as well as it might have years ago.

The the door opened and Finn's head shot up from the bed. Kylo walked into his quarters each step piercng through the silence. Kylo reached his bedroom and opened the door. He looked at Finn through his helmet. There was an uncomfortable silence that stayed between them. Neither one of them seemed to be ready to talk to the other. Kylo took off his helmet and walked across the room. He put his helmet in the pile of ashes near his bed.

Kylo didn't bother taking off his clothes before he hopped into the bed. His limbs wrapped around Finn and he pulled the man closer to him. Kylo inhaled and then exhaled. It has been a while since he's last held Finn in his arms. His bed felt empty without the man. Kylo missed everything about Finn such as his unique sent, his smooth skin and his soft hair.

"FN-2187" he whispered still sniffing Finn's hair.

"Finn," the ex-stormtrooper corrected. Kylo growled in response as his fingernails dug into Finn's skin.

It was times like this that Finn wondered what he thought of Kylo. There was a time he thought he knew Kylo well but once Finn had thought about it maybe he was letting his love color his sense of judgment. He had always thought that Kylo was just a victim of circumstances outside of his control just like Finn. The only difference between them was that Finn was able to resist brainwashing while Kylo could not. Could Finn really blame Kylo for not being able to mentally fight off Snoke?

At night when Finn was feeling particularly starved for affection, he thought about the nights he shared with Kylo. When he remembered how the Knight would share his most vulnerable side with him, Finn's heart fluttered. It was moments like those Finn was convinced he was the only person in the universe who understood Kylo. The only person who believed that their was still good left in him.

"FN-2187," Kylo had said. Finn didn't know he was swirling around inside his own thoughts until Kylo had broken him out of his trance. Finn didn't respond however. FN-2187 was a man that didn't exist anymore and he will not identify with that name.

Kylo responded to the silence by dragging his nails down Finn's arms leaving a trail of blood.

"Yes," Finn answered. The scratches didn't hurt much but Finn didn't like the feeling of droplets of blood sliding down his arms.

"How would you like to be my apprentice?" Kylo stated. His jet black hair hovering over his eyes.

"Why do you phrase it like it's a question? As if I have a choice in the matter," Finn said.

Kylo shrugged his shoulders. "Because you do. Kinda. Maybe."

Finn didn't like the vagueness of that response. "What happens to me if I say no?"

Kylo got up from the bed and stretched. "Nothing to horrible. You'd be a prisoner. You wouldn't be aloud to leave this room ever again. If you won't be my apprentice than you'll be my pet."

Finn thought about it for a minute. Apprentice? What would being Kylo's apprentice entail? Would he join the Knights of Ren? Or would he have a different role within the First Order? Being his apprentice meant that Kylo had to actually teach Finn things. But what could Kylo ever teach Finn if Finn didn't have the Force?

"I don't have the force .How can I be your apprentice?"

"I would disagree. You held out pretty well back when we were fighting on the Starkiller. Lightsabers are useless tools in the hands of non-force sensitive. But even if you don't have the Force, I can train you without it."

Finn scrunched up his face. Sure apprenticeship was better than reconditioning but Finn much preferred death over spending most of his days within the First Order again.

" I can't wait to start training you. As a soldier you'll become strong, determined and..." Kylo's hand snaked past Finn's waist and onto his hip ,"obedient."

Finn jumped from the bed. "Whether I'm your pet or your apprentice it all leads back to the same thing doesn't it?"

"Of course, why wouldn't it?" Kylo flashed him a sultry smile and Finn grunts in disgust.

"I'll find a way out you know? And even if I don't my friends will find me," Finn blurted out.

Kylo raised his eyebrow and then laughed. His laughter filled the room and the more he laughed the more uncomfortable Finn became. What was so funny?

"Of course you will. I have no doubt about that . You'll try to escape and I'll just drag you right back. We'll go through this cycle before you figure out where you belong."

"I don't belong to the First Order."

Finn's body was lifted by a pair of invisible hands. Finn panicked thinking that he might have offended the Knight somehow but Kylo still had a smug little smirk plastered on his face. Kylo then lead Finn to his bathroom where he had his full length mirror. He put the man down so that Finn was facing the mirror. Kylo then turned Finn around.

Kylo touched his back. Kylo's fingers trailed circles around his skin. "Now all the world will know who you really are."

Finn looked back at the mirror and was shocked by what he saw. Right there on his upper back was a tattoo of the First Order Crest.

Kylo wrapped his hands around Finn's waist and laid his chin on the man's shoulder. He moved his lips close to Finn's ear and whispered, "You'll always belong to the First Order. You've belong to the First Order since the day you were taken in as a child. Nothing you do can change that."

A shiver ran down Finn's body and he tried to push Kylo away but the man didn't budge. Kylo had gotten more evil since they last met and Finn didn't like it. This was not the man he remembered.

"You'll always belong to me. Whether your my stormtrooper, my prisoner, my apprentice, or my pet you'll always be mine." Kylo's hand ran down Finn's tattoo. Finn felt so exposed and so violated.  
"So you can try to escape but it won't matter. I made sure you had a tracking device planted right here" Kylo pressed his fingers in the middle of the crest."So where ever you run we'll be able to find you. It's an expensive piece of technology but for you it's worth it."

Kylo then attacked his neck. Kylo's teeth bit down Finn's sensitive skin.

"You can't run away from the order. You can't run away from _us_."

Finn was stunned. He couldn't believe Kylo would do something so dehumanizing ,so debasing. He couldn't believe Kylo would treat him like a trophy to be owned and guarded. But once Finn thought about it he shouldn't be surprised. If he had opened his eyes sooner he should have seen this coming years ago. this wasn't the most awful thing Kylo has ever done. It's the most offal thing he's ever done to him for sure but that was just him.Finn remembers the awful things Kylo had done to other people. The children he'd kill, the villages he's slaughtered, the people he tortured.

 _But...But there's still good in him. I'm the only person who understands him. I'm the only person he shows his true side too_ , he thought.

 _But what if it was all a lie. What if Kylo truly didn't have any redeeming qualities_ ,he thought. It had never crossed Finn's mind That the mask murderer persona that Kylo showed the world wasn't a persona but his true personality. That one day Kylo would drop his good persona and Finn would be the receiving end of Kylo's cruelness instead of a spectator.

"No matter where you goals I'll be able to find you. Whoever seas this will now to bring you back to me."

Finn didn't know why it took now for him to figure it out. The goodness Kylo showed him from before was just an act. A ruse to trick Finn into falling for him and it worked all to well. Finn was such a fool. He was stuck his hope had been crushed. He could feel his soul collapse in on himself.

Kylo smiled. He pounced on Finn and pushed him against the mirror. Finn didn't try to fight him off. He was too tired to fight. He's fought against the First Order all these years yet look where that got him. He's right back to where he started.

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many things running through my mind:
> 
> Every week this tagg doesn't update is another year taken off my short life.
> 
> I'm not going to have time to write fanfic by the time I get to college in a few months so i might as well use my time now to make as much as possible
> 
> as always this story had no beta so all grammar mistakes are on me.I swear I reread this thing 6 times watch there's still like 20 mistakes. If you see anything don't be afraid to tell me.
> 
> These were suppose to be two seperate fanfics. the first one was suppose to be a dabble where Kylo beats Finn in a duel and literally drags him away. The second one was just going to be Kylo captured Finn and then branded him with his light saber. I combined the two and made some small changes here and there.
> 
> Trying to write fanfiction of your favorite ship despite romance not being your forte is kinda hard. I can never write this ship as a happy pairing. I always have to write them as an unhealthy relationship. sigh. I guess that's just what I'm best at. Tbh i guess i'm not good at writing romance (i mean normal romance not dark romance) because I'm totally inexperienced in that field. Yet I write a lot about toxic relationships because i actually have a collection of books about that very topic (though i've never been in a toxic relationship myself). So i guess I'm just writing what I know.


End file.
